i'm just a soul who's intentions are good/dear lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

i love the new position at work. i miss my home. i like the people i work with. i miss my family.

i want to be selfish with my time and so everytime someone makes plans with me it feels like an obligation. but i don't want to make anyone feel bad by saying "no". i'm disconnecting but i feel guilty. i don't want to let anyone down, but i want to be alone. i want to go to work, alphabetize and shelve books, help customers, get back on the train, come home and hang out in my room. nothing else. i don't want to make plans with anybody. but i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings because i like them all. have been cancelling things with Lily & Gilliane, The Red Haired Goddess. have almost cancelled movie plans with Robert three times but deleted each e-mail. i will let everyone down i'm sure.

when did i go from feeling lonely & outcast to WANTING to be alone and apart? it's who i am now, though.

don't want to leave the house today.

i have a date in 4 hours. i am the most fucked up person on the planet.

i wish i was home.
-rick
listening to: Nina Simone
bookbag: In Cold Blood
dvd player: Junebug
title quote: Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, as performed by Nina Simone
celebrity sightings: 1- Busta Rhymes was in the Chess section the other day. IN MY WAY!! I was trying to alphabetize, Busta!!
YTD Sightings-6