all i really want/is some peace, man

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

how many rules can i break/how many lies can i make/how many roads must i turn/to find me a place where the bridge hasn't burned

nothing to report. other than i don't like George's hair so short on GRAY'S ANATOMY and how come Mary Kay Place is always awesome? okay.

title quote: Brandi Carlile, "What can I say" from BRANDI CARLILE
dvd player: HIS GIRL FRIDAY
bookbag: Sarah Dunant/THE BIRTH OF VENUS
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-7
listening to/playlist du jour:
Caetano Veloso/If it's magic, A FOREIGN SOUND
Patty Griffin/Every little bit, LIVING WITH GHOSTS
Joni Mitchell/Help me, COURT AND SPARK
Indigo Girls/Touch me fall, SWAMP OPHELIA
Aimee Mann/Momentum, MAGNOLIA
Paula Cole/Throwing stones, THIS FIRE
Mary J. Blige/MJB da MVP, THE BREAKTHROUGH
Sinéad O'Connor/I am stretched on your grave, SHE WHO DWELLS...
Jill Sobule/Supermodel, JILL SOBULE
Indigo Girls/Peace tonight, COME ON NOW SOCIAL
The Carpenters/(They long to be) Close to you, FROM THE TOP
Alison Krauss/I'll fly away, O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?
Fiona Apple/Tymps (The sick in the head song), EXTRAORDINARY MACHINE
Simon & Garfunkel/America, ALMOST FAMOUS
Bonnie Raitt/Thing called love, R-E-S-P-E-C-T: A CENTURY OF WOMEN IN MUSIC
Blossom Dearie/Someone to watch over me, THE DIVA SERIES
Catfish Scar/Like a wave, SAVE ME
Juliana Hatfield/Everybody loves me but you, HEY BABE
Talking Heads/Burning down the house, SPEAKING IN TONGUES
Holly Palmer/Superjones, I CONFESS
Jesus & Mary Chain/Head on, 21 SINGLES
Ben Folds/Hospital song, THE UNAUTHORIZED BIOGRAPHY OF REINHOLD MESSNER
Willie Nelson/Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other
Nina Simone/Suzanne, THE VERY BEST OF NINA SIMONE
The Eurythmics/Would I lie to you?, GREATEST HITS
The Cars/You might think, HEARTBEAT CITY
Sarah McLachlan/Wait, FUMBLING TOWARDS ECSTASY
Cyndi Lauper/She bop, THE BODY ACOUSTIC
Talking Heads/Making flippy floppy, SPEAKING IN TONGUES

Midway along the journey of our life, I woke to find myself in a dark wood.

"You are not alone, you know," I said. "I think many people at some point in their life feel darkness around them, as if they have fallen from the hand of God, slipped through His fingers onto the rocks below. I believe Dante felt that too. I think his great talent somehow made it harder for him. As if more was expected of him because so much was given. But if he could find his way back again, so can we all." -Sarah Dunant, THE BIRTH OF VENUS

fucking awesome book. definitely going to read IN THE COMPANY OF THE COURTESAN next. but then Harry Potter, I swear! ok... truth be told, i've been reading the first Harry Potter book at work, but only a bit at a time as i feel incredibly guilty about reading on the job, despite the fact that it's usually when i've worked my ass off and have nothing left to work on. realized tonight that my job is this: work hard all week long, organizing & alphabetizing section. take off Friday/Saturday. come in Sunday to find that it's all completely fucked up. work hard all week long, organizing & alphabetizing section. take off Friday/Saturday. come in Sunday to find that it's all completely fucked up.... awesome. i will miss the place when i leave, though. wish i could just be irresponsible though and fucking leave already. i'm so ready to be home again. i don't know if it's going to be possible for me to be any unhappier in the next four months than i am now, knowing where i belong and missing it so much. ahh, anyway.

playlist du jour:
Bread/It don't matter to me, RETROSPECTIVE
Aimee Mann/King of the jailhouse, THE FORGOTTEN ARM
War/Spill the wine, BOOGIE NIGHTS
Rickie Lee Jones/Company, RICKIE LEE JONES
Hole/Good Sister/Bad Sister, PRETTY ON THE INSIDE
Aimee Mann/Red vines, BACHELOR NO. 2
Phil Collins/One more night, HITS
Annie Lennox/A whiter shade of pale, MEDUSA
The Magnetic Fields/Let's pretend we're bunny rabbits, 69 LOVE SONGS
Robbie Williams/Let love be your energy, LIVE AT KNEBWORTH
Yumeji's theme, IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE
Ben Vaughn/Psycho Beach Party main title, PSYCHO BEACH PARTY
Cassandra Wilson/If loving you is wrong, GLAMOURED
Gwen Stefani/Hollaback girl, LOVE.ANGEL.MUSIC.BABY
Indigo Girls/Center stage, INDIGO GIRLS
Dido/All you want, NO ANGEL
Letters to Cleo/Acid jed, WHOLESALE MEATS AND FISH
Robbie Williams/Handsome man, ESCAPOLOGY
Madonna/Material girl, LIKE A VIRGIN
Jude/Red room, KING OF YESTERDAY
Neko Case/Maybe sparrow, FOX CONFESSOR BRINGS THE FLOOD
Liz Phair/Go west, WHIP-SMART
Erasure/A little respect, THE INNOCENTS
k.d. lang/Simple, HYMNS OF THE 49th PARALLEL
Joni Mitchell/Chelsea morning, CLOUDS
10,000 Maniacs/Jezebel, MTV UNPLUGGED
Kylie Minogue/Confide in me, KYLIE MINOGUE
Joni Mitchell/Come in from the cold, DREAMLAND

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.

Okay so I know I ranted on the whole "How-the-fuck-did-fucking-CRASH-win-Best-Picture" thing already. But now I've seen GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK and the shock/horror is all coming back, it's all coming back to me now... Brilliant fucking movie. Probably the best film I saw all year. How is it possible that with this and BROKEBACK, something like CRASH could win Best Picture?!?!? bloody hell.

right. back to CRACKER for now, but just you wait until tonight after I've seen A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE... crash. shit...

sidenote: Anybody here watch PRISON BREAK? Is it any good? Wentworth Miller, so good in THE HUMAN STAIN. (and so very hot) Just wonderin'.

-rick
title quote: Shakespeare as quoted in GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK
dvd player: CRACKER 2.3: Men Should Weep
bookbag: The Birth of Venus/Sarah Dunant
celebrity sightings: 0- although Macauley Culkin was in the store Monday night for a reading of his (incredibly stupid from what I've read) book, but I only saw him on the video monitors, so I'm not counting that as a real sighting.
YTD Sightings-7
listening to/playlist du jour:
John Cameron Mitchell/In Your Arms Tonight, HEDWIG & THE ANGRY INCH
R.E.M./Endgame, OUT OF TIME
Louis Armstrong/Willow Weep for Me, THE COMPLETE ELLA FITZGERALD & LOUIS ARMSTRONG ON VERVE
The Dandy Warhols/Bohemian Like You, SIX FEET UNDER
Bettie Serveert/Leg, PALOMINE
k.d. lang/Tears of Love's Recall, INGÉNUE

Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit now has a body count.

People SUCK. Dude, my customers today were pretty awful. And then... there was the guy who asked which button to press in the elevator to go down. Oh and then when someone from another store called to put something on hold for a customer named Barnes.... and felt he needed to spell "Barnes" for me. oh oh oh and the guy who asked me for the dictionary that was the easiest to use. Is everyone retarded??
ah well. off for the next two days, but that's awesome, I can finish watching my ACTION dvd AND watch the really horrible looking British slasher flick I rented because it has hot James McEvoy in it. Plus, Saturday Korner Pizza Night (no Jackie Chan this week, John Woo instead- HARD BOILED)... it's going to be a good weekend, dammit.

rick

4 months from home...
title quote: HEATHERS. again. hmmm
dvd player: Action: The Complete Series
bookbag: Sarah Dunant/The Birth of Venus
celebrity sightings: 0- yesterday I thought I might have seen Eddie Kay Thomas aka Fat Pat of WONDERFALLS fame.
YTD Sightings-7
playlist du jour:
Miles Davis/Flamenco Sketches, KIND OF BLUE
Indigo Girls/Down by the River, 1200 CURFEWS
Fiona Apple/Love Ridden, WHEN THE PAWN...
B-52's/Quiche Lorraine, TIME CAPSULE
Björk/Cover Me, POST
Lemonheads/It's About Time, COME ON FEEL THE LEMONHEADS
Whiskeytown/Mirror, Mirror, PNEUMONIA
Ben Folds Five/Fair, WHATEVER & EVER AMEN
Sinéad O'Connor/Vampire, THROW DOWN YOUR ARMS
Bic Runga/Sway (acoustic)
Rebekah/Sin So Well, REMEMBER TO BREATHE
Deborah Harry & Iggy Pop/Well Did You Evah!, RED HOT + BLUE
Holly Palmer/Five Little Birds, HOLLY PALMER
Sinéad O'Connor/Guide Me God, COLLABORATIONS
Ash/Shining Light, FREE ALL ANGELS
Kristen Hersh & Michael Stipe, Your Ghost, HIPS AND MAKERS
Gorillaz/Clint Eastwood, GORILLAZ
Ash/Evil Eye, MELTDOWN
Aimee Mann/River, CHRISTMAS 2005 EP
Juliana Hatfield/Make it Home, MY SO-CALLED LIFE
Jason Mraz/Absolutely Zero, WAITING FOR MY ROCKET TO COME
Concrete Blonde/Your Haunted Head, LIVE IN BRAZIL
Talking Heads/Stay Hungry, MORE SONGS ABOUT BUILDINGS

You're not my girlfriend! You're my girl... enemy!!

crappy day. seriously depressed about missing home. so much so that this morning i had a little anxiety attack or something- you know how you can cry so hard that you lose your breath and can't catch it back? i left for work about a half an hour later than i should have... luckily work went by faster than expected, so that was good. home, laundry, pizza. *sigh* but i want to go home. like HOME home. Okay enough of this, here's something really retarded from Myspace:

Put your music player on random, and ask these following questions, press next when you've finished each question, and fill it out.

How does the world see me?:
immature- björk (okay that's probably very accurate.)

Will I have a happy life?:
Has anyone ever written anything for you?- Stevie Nicks
("the rain comes down/there's no pain & there's no doubt/and it was easy to say/i believed in you/every day...")

Do people secretly lust after me?:
Dance only with me- Blossom Dearie

How can I make Myself happy?
Dedicated to the one I love- Mamas & the Papas ("each night before you go to bed my baby/whisper a little prayer for me my baby/and tell all the stars above/this is dedicated to the one i love")

What should I do with my life?:
I guess that's why they call it the blues- Elton John ("don't wish it away/don't look at it like it's forever/between you and me/i can honestly say/that things can only get better")

Will I ever have children?:
Rimshot- Erykah Badu (boom clack boom clack boom clack...)

What is some good advice for me?
Best imitation of myself- Ben Folds ("the 'problem with you speech' you gave me was fine/i like the theories about my 'little stage'/i swore i was listening/but i started drifting around the part about me acting my age")

How will I be remembered?:
Girl from the gutter- Kina ("i hope your hell is filled with magazines/and on every page you see a big picture of me/and under every picture a caption should read/not bad for a girl from the gutter like me")

What is my signature dancing song?:
See thru me- Soul Miner's Daughter (close... it's "Bodies" by Soul Miner's Daughter)

What do I think my current theme song is?:
All American girl- Melissa Etheridge (um... ok.)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?:
Everybody's gotta learn sometime- Beck (BOOM right on target)

What song will play at my funeral?:
Uptown girl- Billy Joel (i'm actually going to ask that this be played at my funeral now, along with "The Pill" by Loretta Lynn and "Thriller.")

What type of men/women do you like?:
Feed the tree- Belly ("so take your hat off, boy when you're talking to me/and be there when i feed the tree")

What is my day going to be like?:
In my arms- Erasure ("we'll be forever calm" although it would've been cool if it had been the next song that played- Stupidly happy by XTC...)


listening to: Paul Westerberg/Dyslexic Heart from SINGLES soundtrack
bookbag: The Birth of Venus/Sarah Dunant
dvd player: ACTION: The Complete Series
title quote: Jason Segel as Eric in UNDECLARED
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-7

doesn't want to go to work today/doesn't feel it's importance/wants to live life like a swinging door/let everything out, everything in & more

every day's downhill from here...

1. Dreams:
a) I dreamt that it was moving day, we (my dad & I) had packed up the truck completely and I said, "Okay, that's it. Let's go." We left. Two days later I realize that I forgot to say goodbye to anyone. When I call the flat, only X will speak to me. Lily, J. & the Red Haired Goddess do not take my calls.
b) I'm back in Miami. I go to the old store, to the café. The server notices my wedding band. I tell her I got married, but that we didn't have a ceremony- "I married her in an office." ...there was a bit more to the dream, but it was sorta fucked up, so we won't get into it. it involved firearms and a lost car, though.

2. Weight Issues:
So last week, I felt like the pants I wear to work were sort of feeling tighter, like maybe I've been putting some of the weight back on. Of course when I tried on some of my old jeans and they promptly fell down to my knees, I realized that this is not true. When I'm going to sleep at night and feel that my ribs and hip bones are much more prominent than they ever were before, I should realize that it's not true... but I think once you've felt like a fat pig, you probably won't get used to NOT feeling that way for a while. Anyway, the point- Tonight at work I kept feeling like the pants were falling down. I felt like I was wearing those old jeans, constantly pulling my pants up. I was kind of freaking out- thinking that last week they felt tight and now they're falling off, there's something seriously wrong with me, some cancer eating me from the inside out and oh my god this isn't healthy at all!! etc etc etc. Until around 9:30 when I was in the elevator and pulled them up a bit and noticed.... that they were unbuttoned the whole time. Yes, I'm a complete idiot.

3. Home:
home home home. five months. fuck. i'm depressed.

4. Sophie B.:
oh yeah, i signed on to Myspace (I wish I knew how to quit you... Myspace.) and had a friend request from Sophie B. Hawkins, who I really respect & admire. I think she's a really fearless artist & after seeing THE CREAM WILL RISE I'm amazed at her courage & strength as a human being. I mean, her last album was disappointing, but I really respect that she's got a singular point of view and at times her work is fucking brilliant... So it was really, really cool to get the request. But um. So did X+J, so I feel less special.

5. Pictures & Frames
new issue's up w/my review for RENT and MAPPING THE EDGE; http://www.picturesandframesmagazine.com/

-rick
listening to: Neko Case/Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
bookbag: Sarah Dunant/Transgressions (it's finally hooked me, but it's truly one of the darkest things i've read)
dvd player: Undeclared
title quote: "Every Day Down" by Joan Jones from the FELICITY soundtrack
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-7

tea baggin' at the fudge palace

the person who buys this t-shirt for me? BFF.

nice couple of days off- watched a bunch of movies, Howl's Moving Castle, Jarhead, and the highlight- MYSTERIOUS SKIN. SO good.

I'm jumping on Lily's bandwagon to say that Joseph Gordon-Levitt was fucking amazing. I also have to say that I think Gyllenhaal was screwed on the whole Jarhead thing- he was great in it. And I keep calling Jarhead "Jawbreaker" when they are two very very VERY different movies! I'm crazy!!
of course we had our Saturday night Korner Pizza/Jackie Chan movie night.... which I will miss dearly when I go back home. But I have to say? Every day more and more I'm dying to be back at home with my family. Of course that's closely followed by being sad at how much I'll miss the good things about NY. Like right now, I've got the latest Harry Potter movie on and it's reminding me that I saw it on my birthday with J. and the Red Haired Goddess. And that makes me think about how much I'm going to miss them, which is a whole fucking lot. *sigh* couldn't I just mash-up these two lives of mine to create the one perfect one??

'kay I'm off.
rick
listening to: Neko Case/Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
bookbag: Sarah Dunant/Transgressions
dvd player: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
title quote: PECKER
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-7

This isn't called America's Next Top Best Friend!

yet still another random quote that i have fallen in love with-
"i'm wrapped in the depths of these deeds that have made me/i can't breathe a sound from my head though i've tried/i can't seem to find my way up from the basement/a demon holds my place on earth 'til i die"-Neko Case, "Furnace Room Lullaby" from the album of the same name. I'm loving Neko, who I've been listening to quite a lot in anticipation of her new album... which is apparently a week away from my mailbox, dammit.

a so/so day followed by a perfect night of tacos/American Idol/America's Next Top Model/Project Runway (Okay, I have loved Chloe from the start, expected Daniel to win... but SERIOUSLY? Santino's collection was the fucking coolest!!) now i'm up (too late, with my ipod playing some Neko and hoping that tomorrow's shift will speed by so i can come home, watch some movies and be quiet & peaceful for the weekend.

finished MAPPING THE EDGE yesterday- I fully recommend it to everyone... a really fantastic book. Started another Sarah Dunant novel today, TRANSGRESSIONS, which is where the quotes in my earlier post came from. I know that seemed random, but I was doing it quickly so that I could have Tacos! (Oh such tacos shall i give!) The quotes both really spoke to me. Obviously the quote about not being very social and preferring the written word is close to home. So that's what that was all about (matty!). But seriously kids- MAPPING THE EDGE. check it out.

okay. no more Neko, no more books... time to sleep.
g'night
-rick
listening to: Neko Case playlist (including The Virginian/Furnace Room Lullaby/Blacklisted/The Tigers Have Spoken)
bookbag: TRANSGRESSIONS/Sarah Dunant
dvd player: Undeclared
title quote: Evil Jade on America's Next Top Model
celebrity sightings: 0 (although rumor was that Colin Farrell was in the store yesterday. What's the etiquette for meeting someone after you've seen stills of their sex tape online?)
YTD Sightings-7
what i wish i would have said:

Too much social life after too little. She wasn't up for it. Give me written words any day, she thought. Nobody answers you back.

"How much could you hate someone for ending something that was already ended, something that you yourself had helped to destroy?"

-Sarah Dunant, TRANSGRESSIONS

It's one thing to want someone out of your life, but it's another thing to serve them a wake up cup full of liquid drainer.

ohhhh my god it's an addiction.

1. What is your middle name? Brian

2. What size is your bed? Twin size.

3.What are you listening to right now? nothing, I'm watching Undeclared.

4. What are the last 2 digits in your house phone number? 59

5. What was the last thing you ate? A Stouffer's French Bread Pizza. Surprisingly good.

6. Last person you hugged? um. oh my god i don't even remember. I think it was J.

7. How is the weather right now? It's cool out, getting a bit nicer.

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Mom & Dave, RE: 24

9. The first thing you notice about the Opposite sex? Eyes... Arms.

10. are you irish? Probably way back at some point.

11. Do you want children? to shut the fuck up and leave me alone.

12. Do you drink? not a lot. occassionally.

13. Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night? no. that sounds like real fun.

14. Hair color? brownish.

15. Eye color? grey blue (and cross eyed, yeah)

17. Favorite holiday? Christmas despite working in retail.

18. Favorite season? Autumn

19. Ever cried for no reason? yes, i'm fucking crazy don't you all know that by now?

20. Last movie you watched? Jackie Chan's First Strike (i'm totally trying to block out Crash)

21. How many mirrors are in your room? absolutely none

22. Do you know any fall out boy songs other than "sugar we're goin down & dance dance? i don't even know that one.

24. Do you enjoy the sensational taste of starbucks? i am a recent convert to the Starbucks hot chocolate. grande. with whipped cream.

25. Does the word "horcrux' mean i don't know? no. i think it's a weird role playing magic thing.

26. Do you have any friends of the gay preference? The Gay Preference? WHO THE FUCK WROTE THIS? The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences? Yes, but my preference would be the lesbian friends. They're way less fucked up and dramatic. and usually have better taste in music.

27. Do you think jesus is great? Jesus is just alright with me.

29. What books are you reading? Mapping the Edge by Sarah Dunant, to be followed very soon by her novel Transgressions. Also on tap is the graphic novel, The Fountain, by Darren Aronofsky & Kent Williams.

30. Piercings? no thanks, i'm good.

31. Top 5 favorite movies: It's constantly changing- 1. My Man Godfrey 2. Eve's Bayou 3. Clue 4. Bringing Up Baby 5. Bad Education

32. Favorite college football team? I don't... know.

33. What were you doing before filling this out? watching "24" One Name. Five Syllables. C. Thomas Howell. Fuck YEAH!

34. Any pets? alas, no. i can't handle the responsibility.

35. Do u like anyone presently? I don't like anyone presently. I pretty much hate 99% of the Earth's population presently.

36. Favorite flower? Tulips

37. Have you ever been caught doing something u shouldn't have? Yes, but thankfully not today when myself and someone else skipped out during our shift to buy chocolate at the deli down the street. Ah, the taste of rebellion!! What will we do next?!?

38. Have you ever loved someone? maybe. i don't know if this is something i'm capable of, quite frankly.

39. Who would you like to see right now? my family. tonight at work i was missing them so much i considered just saying fuck it and buying a ticket to fly home.

40. Are you still friends with your exs? i tend to cut people out of my life in a very complete, absolute way. sometimes it takes a while, it's probably not healthy but... fuck it.

41. Have you ever fired a gun? no.

42. Do you like to travel by plane? HELL no.

43. Right or left-handed? right

44. What are your regrets? not holding things closer to my chest

45. How many pillows do you sleep with? two

46. Are you missing someone? didn't i already answer that one? my family. lisa, too.

47. Do you have a tattoo? nope

48. Do you still watch cartoons on saturday morning? do they even show cartoons on saturday mornings? no...

49. Are you hiding something from someone? a few things. see question 44.

50. Do you play an instrument? i can (maybe) play some basic piano.

51. what instrument would you like to play? would love to really be able to play the piano, or guitar. or cello.

1. Initials: RBS

2. Name someone that has the same birthday as you: Jennifer Connelly. Frank Sinatra. oh, and Psychic Friend Dionne Warwick

3. For or against same sex marriage: totally for it. we should be as miserable as the straights are.

4. Do you believe in God: Yes, but I don't always understand him

5. How many U.S states have you been to: I think 8 or 9.

6. How many of the U.S states have you lived in: 2, Florida & New York. (although Georgia is what's calling me to it)

7. Ever lived outside of the US? no.

8. Name something you like physically about yourself: my eyebrows get complimented. i'll go with those as i really can't think of anything else

9. Something non-physical you like about yourself: i think my patience is a big virtue

10. What is your dads name: Lew

11. Why are you still up?: because i stayed in bed until 12:30 today and worked from 2-10.

12. Who made you angry today: this CRAZY customer and her son.

13. Favorite type of Food: pizza

14. Do you download music: yeah, once in a while.

15. What illegal things have you done: nothing. i'm a good lad.

16. Where would you want to go on a first date? no thanks.

17. Would you date the person who posted this before you? he's pretty cute... but no.

18. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally: no, what is this Love Actually?

19. Do you like Bush: The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own.

20. Have you ever bungee jumped: no.

21. Have you ever white-water rafted: yeah, that was fucking awesome

22. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? ummm yes. i took him up on it, too.

23. Have you met a real redneck: i was related to one for 10 years.

24. What is your current fav song? The Caesars- "It's not the fall that hurts"

25. Do you wear contacts? No, it really freaks me out to mess about with my eyes

26. Where was the last place you went besides your house? Work.

27. What are you afraid of?: Performance Artists. Heights. Terrorists. President Bush.

28. What turns you on? a smart sense of humor.

29. Fave TV show(s)?: Spaced. Wonderfalls. Arrested Development. Buffy/Angel. Six Feet Under. Lost. Gilmore Girls. oh yeah... and Project Runway.

30. Do you have an ipod? yes.

31. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? someone told me I look like Peter Krause. Which isn't very accurate.

32. Whats your mom's name: Judy

33. Favorite band of all time (ONLY ONE): Indigo Girls

34. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn: A little butter is okay. Damn, I need to get back to my beloved Pavilion Theatre. What's playing?

35. Have you ever ridden in a limo: nope.

36. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? The closest would be my grandpa... but we weren't all that close.

37. Do you watch MTV? Never.

38. What's something that really bugs you? Ignorance. Unneccessary drama. Impatience. Rudeness. Lack of space.

39. Whats your favorite hobby? Clearly watching films

40. Do you like Michael Jackson? He used to be a really talented person. I like his music up to about 1985. But um... no.

41. Favorite basketball team: I don't care.

42. Favorite cereal: Don't eat cereal. But if you have Lucky Charms I will eat all the marshmallows

43. Do you drive? no. but i will have to soon.

44. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep? Maybe 40 hours or so.

45. Last time you went bowling: I have no freaking clue... High School probably.

46. Whats your favorite state to be in? Georgia.

if we lived in a world without tears/how would bruises find the face to lie upon/how would scars find skin to etch themselves into...

1. Who was your first prom date? I skipped my prom to hang out with my aunt for a weekend. Ok I still wouldn't have gone.

2. Who was your first roommate(s)? X+J, followed soon by Lily

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? Rum & Coke

4. What was your first job? Miami Springs Swimming Pool. I was a teacher's aide/cashier.

5. What was your first car? no car.

6. When did you go to your first funeral? When my Grandpa died about 10 years ago.

7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? 31.

8. Who was your first grade teacher? Mrs. Grimsley, I think. I have vaguely fond memories.

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? From Miami to L.A. to visit the grandparents.

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with? I don't think I ever had to sneak out of my house.

11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them? Robbie E. was my first best friend. And no... surprise.

12. Where was your first sleepover? Probably this kid Chris, from my church. He had a pool. One night he ate too much pizza and threw up all over the patio. That was gross.

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? Apparently today it was J. Usually my mom or Lily

14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen? Haven't had the "honor" yet- but I was a ring bearer when I was little. And blonder. And tanner. And all around more cute.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Say "fuck you" and shut off the alarm. Unless I'm opening or off, in which case I promptly go back to sleep.

16. What was the first concert you ever went to? The Go-Go's. (ok ok I went to a Melissa Manchester concert with my mom & her friend when the 3rd person they were going with got sick)

17. First tattoo or piercing? none, thanks.

18. Age of first real kiss? REAL kiss... 17.

19. First crush? Jordan Knight?

20. First REAL love? "pfft!" (that's the same noise i made when i saw Mel Gibson as Braveheart last night during the awards)

listening to: WORLD WITHOUT TEARS/Lucinda Williams
bookbag: Mapping the Edge/Sarah Dunant- almost through, dammit, but i've got another Dunant novel lined up.
dvd player: Undeclared
title quote: "World Without Tears" by Lucinda Williams
celebrity sightings: 0- No, Norana- cute GQ models do not count
YTD Sightings-7
what i wish i would have said: to the customer who i had to babysit for 20 fucking minutes looking for something i knew we didn't have that she insisted we did while she constantly yelled at her fucking son: "dammit woman we don't have the fucking coupon book!!"

i think i just threw up a little in my mouth...

are you fucking kidding me??? Capote, yeah... Good Night, and Good Luck, sure... Munich, okay... but motherfucking CRASH?!? i swear the only Oscar-worthy part of the film was Thandie Newton. I was disgusted when it won best screenplay, but best fucking picture?? i feel like i'm on crazy pills!!

anyway. deep breaths. at least Weisz won.
favorite passage today:
"I felt very... I don't know the word- soiled for a while afterward. As if I'd bought counterfeit goods, squandered a part of myself on something that wasn't worthwhile. It made me kind of crazy. But I got over it. Eventually." -Sarah Dunant, MAPPING THE EDGE

listening to: Fiona Apple/EXTRAORDINARY MACHINE
bookbag: Sarah Dunant/MAPPING THE EDGE
dvd player: UNDECLARED: The Complete Series
title quote: WONDERFALLS. or DODGEBALL. Let's go with WONDERFALLS, it's my favorite.
celebrity sightings: 1- Keri "Felicity" Russell was on the up escalator this afternoon. A coworker told a really mean story about thinking she was the Noxeema girl. I have to hide my love for FELICITY to get by here. It's very Brendan Fraser in SCHOOL TIES. only... not.
YTD Sightings-7
what i wish i would have said: "Hey, it was a really well-written show, once you got past the whole She-followed-a-boy-to-college thing."

I think you owe me for deceiving me so exquisitely.

Wow. So, I just saw CRASH. Completely expecting to be blown away by it, I found myself instead wondering how come it's receiving so much acclaim. I found it pretty manipulative and heavy handed. It's completely devoid of subtlety... so basically I'm wondering one thing: What. The. Fuck?? Granted, there were some wonderful performances, Thandie Newton, Michael Peña, Don Cheadle, Terrence Howard... although Matt Dillon was alright, I don't get why he's the one getting all the acclaim. If the film had been receiving more nods for performances it would make a lot more sense to me, but as it stands, I am completely flabbergasted as to why it's getting all these awards. As much as I think BROKEBACK is overrated, I really think that it was a great film... not so much with this one. I can't believe I bumped CRIMES & MISDEMEANORS for this...

rick
listening to: Ash/Free All Angels
bookbag: Mapping the Edge/Sarah Dunant
dvd player: UNDECLARED
title quote: Clive Owen in CLOSER. which IS a fucking great movie.
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-6

there will always be women in rubber flirting with me!!

Turned ON, OFF or doesn't matter when a guy:

Is taller than you: ON. (see M. Levine)

wears braces: Off

Dresses preppy: Off

Dresses Ghetto: Soooo very off.

Has green eyes: Doesn't matter.

Has blue eyes: Doesn't matter.

Has hazel eyes: Doesn't matter- what no brown option? that would be "On"

Smokes pot: Off

Wears glasses: Doesn't matter.

Has a tan: Doesn't matter

Plays sports: On for some reason

Smiles a lot: Doesn't matter

Calls you just to say hi: On

Lets you know he was thinking about you: On

Compliments you: LOL my first instinct is of course, OFF as we all know i can't take a compliment

Wears jewelry: ooh, Off

Smiles when you come in the room: On

Has brown hair: Doesn't Matter

Has Black hair: On

Has blonde hair: Doesn't matter

Has red hair: Doesn't matter

Makeup: All the way off.

Can make you laugh at any given moment: On

Loyal: On

Laid back: On

Plays guitar: On

Plays drums: More On. Bass? SO The Fuck ON

Sings: On... maybe. That's weird- I had a dream where I was getting involved with this guy (who was actually SO not my type) who had a cd. I didn't love it. I was telling J. that I was worried that my not liking his music would be the ruin of it all. hmm.

He's Buff: Doesn't matter

He can draw: On

Doesn't eat meat: Off. I'd be too uncomfortable chowing down on a burger with someone who didn't eat meat sitting across from me.

Laughs a lot: On. I guess. Unless we're talking The Joker or something

Looks you up and down when he sees you: um. Off

Has piercings: doesn't matter

Smokes cigs: Off. although the two guys that i've sort of seen since i moved up here? both smokers. so there ya go.

-rick
listening to: Ash/Free All Angels
bookbag: Mapping the Edge/Sarah Dunant (so. freaking. good.)
dvd player: A Love Song for Bobby Long
title quote: Maureen in "Rent"
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-6

what came first, the music or the misery?

well, duh...


Which John Cusack Are You?

listening to: nothin'
bookbag: Mapping the Edge/Sarah Dunant
dvd player: Where The Truth Lies
title quote: from Nick Hornby's novel, HIGH FIDELITY
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-6

please don't let me be misunderstood, pt. II

so for the sake of preventing misinterpretation, regarding the "Bitch, please" post-
X updated his Myspace page this week, which is where I spotted the fact that at some point between the last time I visited Gill's page and then, former whatever E. had changed his name to something from this very blog- as did his boyfriend (fuckwit yes, extraordinaire, no) who's trumpeting that he's "making cross eyed boys run home to mommy." so i did kinda sink to their level, but i felt pretty good about that. but the point is this has NOTHING to do with former online crush guy, who is in reality a really sweet human being, ok? just a couple of evil faggots who you know... hate me, but apparently have nothing better to do than blogstalk me. seriously boys, go jerk off to Brokeback Mountain with everybody else so i can go back to pretending you don't exist.

if you can't help it/leave it alone/leave it alone/yeah, just forget it

how old do you feel? perpetually 17

where were you on september 11th, 2001? i was at home, watching dvds in the morning. stayed at home after.

what do you believe is the meaning of life? god only knows... i think it's pretty meaningless.

why is the sky blue? actually today it was grey.

what is your favorite thing to cook? not much. i have the whole 'richard's pasta surprise' thing down, though.

you have only a dollar to your name...what do you buy? a dr. pepper

what would your last meal be? southern fried chicken from the cracker barrel- mmmm good. with gravy. and mashed potatoes.

what is the youngest age you have memories of? maybe 6 or 7

what is your favorite thing in the world? my ipod

what is your most missed memory? actually enjoying the holidays, being genuinely excited about christmastime

have you ever punched someone on purpose? not very hard

do you know what color chartreuse is close to? is it like purple? pink? i totally lose my gay card, don't i?

why do we have daylight savings time? damn farmers.

what living person would you want to meet? probably kate winslet or bic runga

what dead person? carole lombard

where in the world would you live if you could? somewhere secluded...

who is your favorite rapper? um... i guess it would have to be missy elliott. even though i haven't listened to her since her first album. not so much into the rap other than Missy & the Roots. oh, and Tribe Called Quest

who has had the most influence on you (good or bad)? Entertainment Weekly. ;)

what is your favorite dessert? cookies & cream ice cream. or those brownies J makes with the oreos in the frosting

what age is your favorite so far in your life? 19-20 didn't suck.

can you make cookies from scratch? no, but J can. which is why she's the flatmate i'm saving first in case of fire.

was the chicken first or the egg? your mom.

hershey or nestle? hershey all the way.

night out or night in? night in, everyone knew that.

single forever with a great family or no family and your soulmate? ah, that's obvious. single forever with a great family.

what is your favorite scented candle? vanilla, but not crazy about the scented candles.

do you ever wear a wife beater? nope.

if you could live in a store which one would it be? Target, like in Career Opportunities.

can you eat a dozen donuts in one sitting? maybe 4 or 5

what is your favorite curse word? fuck. you can use it in so many ways.

have you ever read/tried to read the bible? i've read parts of it, back in the sunday school days.

who do you dislike most in the world? Fred Phelps and all the crazy right wingers. Paris Hilton and her ilk. Oh, there are a lot of peope. I'm nothing if not a hater.

what is your ideal date? Me and Netflix.

what is your favorite shape? a circle, i guess.

can you eat just one chip? no, that's the beauty of chips- you can't eat just one

where is the farthest you've ever been from home? where i am, right now. and i'm feeling every mile.

what is your desktop background? the picture of the kitten on my bookshelf. usually it's a picture i took of turtle pond the last time i went to The Park. (yeah, The Park)

which movie do you wish was your life? besides the one i wrote? ummm Bringing Up Baby

has someone ever intentionally put food on you? i don't know. that's a weird question.

what color is your favorite? brown. earth colors are good for me

what color do you feel represents you? that's a little new agey.

do you believe in God? yep. although there's a lot i don't understand...

have you ever broken a bone? not yet.

have you ever shut someone's fingers in a door? oh SHIT. actually, yeah I have... my brother's. um. we won't talk about that.

what is your ideal ice cream creation? Mint chocolate chip cookies & cream.

what is your favorite thing to do? hang out, watch movies, read.

what is your favorite junk food? hot & spicy cheezits.

what is the longest you've gone without talking to anyone? i used to spend weekends at home by myself a lot when i was in my early 20s- i would go 24 hours or more without talking to anyone (except usually the person who answers the phone at Domino's) and you know... i'm down with seclusion.

what is your favorite board game? Scene It. or Trivial Pursuit- only NOT the book lover's edition, which is hard as fuck. and i play it with people who worked in bookstores.

your favorite book? The Time Traveler's Wife; The Secret History; Good Omens.

what movie could you watch over and over again? these are by no means my favorites, just movies that I love that I have literally played over & over again- Wet Hot American Summer; The Sweetest Thing; Clue

do you know how to change a tire? nope.

have you ever eaten paste? i seem to think that yes i did.

what toy have you always wanted and never gotten? I wanted the Endor playset from Return of the Jedi. And I so wanted a Batgirl action figure, but to no avail. :(

what item could you not go without during the day? either a book or my ipod

do you consider yourself a smart person? not especially

who was your first crush? i covered this already, it's too humiliating to bring up again.

do you close your eyes when you listen to music? sometimes i do, it depends on the song

how old were you when life was the hardest? life is pretty hard right now, but 12-15 sucked

do you eat the burnt chips? sure, why not.

do you still have your baby blanket? it would be a bit small. my mom probably has it.

is there anything you HAVE to do everyday? call home, nothing is more comforting.

do you curse in front of family? we all curse in front of each other. it's gotten a bit ridiculous, we're like a family of sailors.

what is your favorite tv show ever? Spaced, obviously. Although Arrested Development; Six Feet Under & Wonderfalls are all catching up. And then there's Buffy...

if you had to get back with an ex, woudl you do it? ex? as if

when was the last time you felt truly loved by someone? when i left FL for NY and started wondering what i was doing to my family after saying goodbye.

what character trait would you change about yourself? it doesn't matter, i'd never be happy with myself.

3 wishes... unity, understanding, wellness

have you ever slapped yourself in the face? actually yeah- whenever i hear a particular Nellie McKay song.

have you been in a car accident? yeah, why do you think i'm so paranoid about driving?

favorite line from a song? "somewhere it all got crazy/and now it's like a dream/but i knew that i blew it from the start/i was too freaked out to deal with it all/too fucked up to care/i stood right there and watched it fall apart/now lsd & ecstasy don't help me/and my dance with mr. brownstone got too rough/will you wake me without warning/some jingle jangle morning/we'll fly away to heaven/on a star..." -Mary Lou Lord, "Some Jingle Jangle Morning"

what do you do when the power goes out? i bitch and then read a book. unless it's night, then it's just the bitching

who do people say you look like? someone once told me i looked like a young Charles Grodin. someone else (who was clearly on crack) said Peter Krause, which was like the best compliment I ever had.

favorite holiday? christmas

if you could be doing anything at all right now, what would it be? counting my millions in my cabin outside of Seattle.

if you could know how, when and where you will die, would you want to know? no- i hate the anticipation of a fucking DENTIST appointment, the anticipation of my death would pretty much drive me insane.

-rick
title quote: "Coast to Coast" by Elliot Smith- From a basement on the hill.

when i come home in the morning banging on the screen/you can bet your bottom dollar there's gonna be one hell of a fight

[Relationship Status] Me+My DVD Player 4EVER!!
[Shoe size] um. 11?
[Siblings] 1 brother. We call him Brohan!!
[Pets] No, but we had an adorable kitten on loan last month.

FAVORITES
[Color] chocolatey brown
[Number] 12 i guess...
[Animal] eh, i do love cats. dogs are cute too
[Book] The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Good Omens by Gaiman/Pratchett
[Flower] tulip?

DO YOU
[Twirl your hair?] no, one of the few things i DON'T have in common with 12 year old girls
[Have tattoos?] nah, i don't want anything permanent on my body.
[Cheat on tests?] i may have. once.
[Like roller coasters?] hell YEAH
[Wish you could live somewhere else?] Yeah, but I don't know where. Somewhere rural next time.
[Like cleaning?] Who the fuck LIKES cleaning?? oh wait... um. nevermind.
[Write in cursive or print?] i usually print.
[Know how to drive?] yeah, but i fucking hate it.
[Own a cell phone?] yup, unbelievably.
[Ever get off the internet?] i do once in a while. i have to sleep you know.

HAVE YOU EVER
[Been in love at first sight?] nope.
[considered a life of crime?] sure.
[Considered being a hooker?] noooooooo
[Been in love?] um. i don't even know at this point.
[Made out with JUST a friend?] nope
[Kicked someone in the nuts?] oh yeah.

CURRENT..
[Current clothing] my work clothes- the chocolatey pants, sweater..
[Current hair] really fucking short
[Current CD in stereo] Björk- Vespertine
[Last movie you saw] Pride & Prejudice at the theatre. Knightley bites my ass. Oh, Supercop on dvd- Jackie Chan rocks!

RANDOM THINGS...
[Last thing you ate] Peanut Butter sandwich at lunch.
[Read the newspaper?] not so much.
[Hate yourself] me and everyone else
[Collect anything?] too much.
[Like your handwriting?] it's alright when i try.

LOVE..
[First crush] probably Christopher Atkins i don't fucking know
[You believe in love at first sight?] nope
[You believe in "the one?"] hell no
[Are you a tease?] not so much
[Too shy to make the first move?] usually

ARE YOU A...
[Daydreamer] uh huh
[Sarcastic] yeah
[Introvert] Yes
[Extrovert] not really

WOULD YOU RATHER...
[Pierce your nose or lip?] nose
[Be serious or funny?] make 'em laugh. to hide the pain, obviously

ARE YOU...
[Simple or complicated?] i think i'm pretty simple. just fucked up

WHAT DO YOU WANT...
[Where do you want to live] Someplace secluded
[how many kids do you want] no.
[What kind of job do you want] the one where you get to stay home all day and watch dvds
[do you want to get married] there are so many things that point me towards "no" with this one
[Nervous Habits] a few. i can't think of anything now
[Are you double jointed] no
[Can you roll your tongue] yep
[Can you raise your eyebrow(s)] yeah
[Can you cross your eyes] the problem is UNCROSSING them. heh
[Do you make your bed daily] no

CLOTHES, ETC...
[Which shoe goes on first] my right?
[Ever thrown one at someone] yes
[How Much money do you carry in your walleT] 20 bucks

IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU...
[Bought something] a few things
[Gotten sick] possibly getting sick now
[Sang] a little
[Felt stupid] of course
[Missed someone] miss my family 24/7
[Gotten drunk] nope
[Gotten high] nope
[Danced crazy] not so much
[Gotten your hair cut] yes
[Watched cartoons] Drawn Together, mother fuckers!!

LAST PERSON THAT...
[Slept in your bed] me
[Saw you cry] people have heard me cry on the phone... don't remember who the last to see me cry was
[Made you cry] myself
[Saw a movie with you] J! either Match Point or Capote
[Said 'I love you' to you] Lily i bet

HAVE YOU EVER...
[Been to California] yeah when i was in like 7th grade
[Been to Canada] no but i would love to
[Been to Europe] nope, make my ocean liner reservations now, please

listening to: x+j being crazy
bookbag: Mapping the Edge by Sarah Dunant
dvd player: Walk the Line
title quote: "If I'm Gonna Sink (I Might as Well Go to the Bottom)" as performed by Neko Case
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-6
what i wish i would have said: oh i think i said what i wanted to say.

"Making Cross Eyed Boys Run Home To Mommy"

Bitch, please. The fact that I'm poor & miss my family is what's sending me home. Your presence? Just one more thing to add to the CONS list next to the rats and the smell of piss on the subway.

xxoo
the cross eyed boy