every second of the night/i live another life

strange dreams last night/this morning. first off, i stayed in bed until... okay i'm still in bed. and have to leave for work in an hour. and i wonder why it seems like i never have time to do anything but work...

dream #1. I go to the movies, sit down in the theatre (i think it's the one on 19th & Broadway, where I saw "Proof" with J.) & notice that E. & Fuckwit are sitting a few rows ahead of me. I'm shocked but stay and watch the movie (a really bad mob movie). Halfway through, E. turns around and sees me there, grabs Fuckwit and drags him out. Later, I get home (in the dream i think we live in a trailer. i think it's the one from Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet...) and Lily is leaving for work. She comes back minutes later, cellphone in hand, asking me what happened. I'm like, "Dude, I went to the movies. They were there. I didn't do anything. Besides, it's my theatre!!" end dream one.

dream #2. Lily is for some reason working with me at BN. Only it's even BIGGER than my actual BN, some airport hanger kind of place. She's working in music and hates the exact person I would expect her to hate. But when we close the store and leave, it's only to this giant empty hanger where there is a bed- one bed- in the center. Lily sleeps here when she doesn't want to ride back to Brooklyn. This is where she's staying tonight because she has to go to a movie really early the next morning. So I'm hanging out, taking clothes from her closet and putting them in my bag (is dream me a crossdresser?) when suddenly, an airplane crashes through the front of the hanger, heading straight for us. I grab Lily and drag her all the way to the edge and to safety, saving her life. end dream two.

Anyone wanna give interpretations a go?

btw- totally thought that i saw the king of the internet/e-beast at my store yesterday. PLUS he said he was from Michigan. i should have said something like... "tony?"

what i feel has come & gone before/no need to talk it out/we know what it's all about/hanging around/nothing to do but frown/rainy days & mondays...

I *heart* Matty G. Seriously, he just knows exactly what to say when I'm feeling my worst and I just wanted to get that out there.

Just for the record, CRACKER fucking rocks. I'm watching Series Two as I felt that it was too late & I was too sleepy to watch anything with subtitles like CITY OF GOD, so popped in CRACKER. It's a giant episode where some truly surprising shit goes down and I am once again bowled over by how amazing and daring the show was. I can't WAIT for the new one this year- that is, assuming it will air on BBC America in September when it's supposed to be on in the UK.

CRACKER? Makes me think of Crackity Jones, which is a Pixies song, but also what I dubbed the kitten we were sitting last month (who is actually named Hope, but dude... Hope vs. Crackity Jones? You be the judge) The lovely j sent me some pictures she took while we were kittensitting & this is my absolute favorite.


listening to: the last thing i listened to was The Killers, "Mr. Brightside" on my ipod
bookbag: Thank You For Smoking. Which is quite good, although I think I liked the movie better. Aaron Eckhart? yummm
dvd player: CRACKER: Series Two
title quote: "Rainy Days & Mondays" as performed by Cracker (see, it's not totally random) on IF I WERE A CARPENTER
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-6
what i wish i would have said: "sure, i'll take your Sunday shift. if you work for me on Monday."

we're drinking my friend/to the end/of a brief episode

so where to start?

*online crush gone awry. as usual, it's all on me. me deciding it's foolish to start something up so soon before leaving, freaking out about getting involved with someone when i wasn't sure that i wanted to, and finally realizing that i am so much happier when i'm on my own and not complicating matters with stuff like, plans... and other human beings. even the ones that i like. i feel like an asshole who led him on and considering the recent emails in which he regurgitates things i had written in old emails, he feels the same way. everyone was just so encouraging that i give it a go, even after the first date when my reaction was "he's sweet but i don't see myself dating him." everyone has been telling me that i should get out there, etc. but i'm starting to wonder if it's another one of those things that you're "supposed to do" to be happy. but i think i was happier when i wasn't trying- guy-wise, if it happens, it'll happen, but right now i'm perfectly content. i did get a glimpse of what it must have been like for E. to be around someone who liked you so much and feel uncomfortable about it, though. which brings me to part two-

*i piss off/hurt lily. we're good now, but i had been freaking out about March & the impending presence of E. and the fuckwit and the possibilities of crossing paths with them. which of course i didn't even need to bring up as there's no way that she would put any of us in the awful position of having to see each other. clearly still bitter and unforgiving of the fuckwit's "dishonest, untrustworthy, phony" message and E.'s silent agreement. although let's face it, they're no longer alone in their opinion of me.

*landlady's crazy daughter drama. two wednesdays ago, x+j and i are enjoying Project Runway as we do, when we heard loud voices from downstairs. followed by the squawk of a police radio. we looked out of our front window to find 3 police cars and all our neighbors crowding around. we're all in awe and wonder what could be going on, although we all suspect that it has something to do with the landlady's daughter- V. V tends to sneak out in the middle of the night, keep secret kittens and pretty much is just a mysterious, possibly shady character. The next day we discover that V has run away. She was missing all weekend, until on Monday, our landlady told us that she'd been found. many questionable things were discovered in her room- condoms, phone messages from strange men, and addresses- one for a chinese fast food restaurant and the other for an adult video store. V was staying with her father for a while, theoretically to be away from the bad influences. however, last night at 2 in the morning, our doorbell rang. i went downstairs with x to see what was up- it was V- only V without most of her hair, looking quite different. but rather than knocking on her mom's door and sleeping there, she said she was going to sleep in the hallway. we all wondered what to do until we realized that her dad probably had no idea that she'd left, so called our landlady. some banging of doors and then total silence. crazy.

i guess that catches me up on the blog. i'm stressed, depressed and sick of it all. i wish i was already back in miami, home with my family. they're sort of the only people i feel may be impervious to me. i'm seriously starting to think i'm one of those people who just fucks up anyone they come into contact with- or at the very least makes any situation a giant mess. last night x and i were talking about people who buy greeting cards way early- and i told him that i'd done that once, but by the tiime the person's birthday came around we weren't speaking anymore. i think of all the people who have just slowly disappeared/been exorcised from my life and it's shocking to see how often it happens- Kristi, Diana, Rosie, Alina, Matt, Kim, Edwin & now this- it makes me think i'm a pretty toxic person. maybe it's good that i'm more comfortable/happy being on my own, hanging out at home. it's making the world safe for unsuspecting humans.

-rick
not as depressed as he sounds in this blog entry.
listening to: my ipod. which i am very angry with as it has lost some of the play count information for many songs and totally fucked up my favorite playlist. hmmph. at the moment it's "mil besos" by Patty Griffin from 10,000 Kisses. Which reminds me- check out my myspace page to hear this amazingly beautiful song by Patty- http://www.myspace.com/captbackfire
bookbag: Thank You For Smoking by Christopher Buckley
dvd player: City of God. which i won't have time to watch thanks to the kookiness with my work schedule.
title quote: Frank. "One More For the Road"
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-6
what (matty said that) i wish i'd said: It's like there's some heaving molten crazy just under the surface and right now you can see the glowing red through the cracks

neil says hi by the way

1. How tall are you barefoot?
5ft10... ish?
2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
ah, no.
3. Do you own a gun?
heroin AND a gun? who am i, Kurt Cobain?
4. Rehab?
...or Courtney Love? nope.
5.Have you ever had green poop?
no. and ew. i don't like the brown humor. especially when it's... green.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
i usually think "ewww"
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
it depends, if you consider Joni Mitchell's "River" to be a Christmas song, then it's that. Otherwise, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Chocolate milk. and lots of it
9. Do you do push-ups?
no. have you seen me?
11. Are you vegan?
no. i *heart* meat.
12. Do you like painkillers?
my experience is quite limited, but if anyone's giving out free samples, now is as good a time as ever
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
i don't lure.
14. Do you own a knife?
no, but i have several boxcutters. "Just in case" as one friend once joked.
15. Do you have A.D.D.?
no, but oddly enough the friend who joked about my multitude of boxcutters did. that combined with his drug tendencies and unsure sexuality made him the best unrequited crush EVER!
16. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings?
life is pain, isn't it?
17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1.i'm hungry 2.i'm glad that x+j have taken over cooking duties after seeing that i'm apparently unable to lift my ass from this couch 3.i wish i was home already.
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought:
1. a computer book for X 2. Mental Floss- the trivia game! For a DOLLAR!! 3. a slice of pizza & a dr pepper
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink:
1. chocolate milk 2. coke 3. dr pepper 4. red koolaid 5. water
20. What time did you wake up today?
i didn't really sleep much last night so 5:30 was when i officially gave up trying.
21. Current hair?
cut really really short. and still all natural lookin' as i decided the whole coloring thing makes my hair too dry
22. Current worry?
which of the 8654 worries should i choose...
23. Current hate?
myself as usual. oh, and keira knightley for robbing a deserving actor of an Oscar nomination.
24. Favorite place to be?
central park, maybe. home with my family.
25. Least favorite place to be?
parties. oh god.
26. Where would you like to go?
home home home. um washington state. the smoky mountains.
27. What do you drive?
my family/friends. crazy.
28. What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years?
lines of coke off the ass of an aging movie star.
29. Burn or tan?
used to tan very well. not much for the sun now.
30. Last thing you ate?
slice of pizza. although right now i'm going to get an oreo
31. Would you be a pirate?
i'd suck at piratehood. but i can say "arrr!"
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?
last week i had a drink while we played games.
33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
cyndi lauper. very quietly.
34. What did you fear was going to get you as a kid?
giant fucking spiders!!
35. What's in your pockets right now:
20 bucks X just gave me.
36. Last thing that made you laugh?
Daniel Franco: I love you, Heidi.
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
Superfriends! I still have them at home. They even had the Wondertwins!
39. What are your dreams like?
last night i dreamt there was a war in BN- i was protecting my fabulous new manager from the evil ones.
40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
i have 1. we have 1 in the living room our landlady gave us & lily has a tiny one in her room. uh. 3
41. Who is your loudest friend?
it can be so many people. i go with Gilliane, who laughs loud and i love it
42. Who is your most silent friend?
me. or dave.
43. nope.
44. Do you wish on falling stars?
no.
45. What are you reading?
Thank You For Smoking by Christopher Buckley. I saw a screening of it last year and fucking loved the movie. X got me the book and i just started it.
46. What is your favorite candy?
Hershey's Chocolate bar.
47. What song do you want played at your wedding?
as if. as if. but it would be something by Ella.
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Björk: "Play Dead"
49. if you can kick anyone right now who would it be?
oh i told the red haired goddess & Jennifer K last night that i could kick a puppy. but... i wouldn't
50. Is it your birthday?
it's my birthday, it's my birthday, not for real-real, just for play-play

listening to: tom waits, "the part you throw away" on my ipod
bookbag: Thank You For Smoking by Christopher Buckley
dvd player: Cracker: Series One
title quote: Tori Amos, "Tear in Your Hand" from LITTLE EARTHQUAKES
celebrity sightings: 0. a slow, disappointing week. Although Jeremy Sisto is apparently shooting for his new show down our street tonight.
YTD Sightings-6

if you need me me and neil'll be hanging out with the dream king

You Are Delirium! You are rather strange, but

occasionally display a flash of incredible

brilliance. Sometimes you forget what you

were going to say. Sometimes you remember

things everyone else has forgotten forever

and always...


Which Sandman Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

you know what? you know what? you know what? ...SHUT THE FUCK UP.

i had to re-use that title because i really should take that fucking advice. i really should not attempt communcation with other human beings at this point. i need to stick to staying in my room and watching dvds alone until July and NOT TALKING TO ANYONE. i've managed to piss off, disappoint, hurt and be a total dick to a few people i care about this week by being the completely fucked up mess that i am. so to those people i apologize. it's time for some fucking radio silence.

i'm like the spain without the rain/i'm like the mark without the twain/my whole heart is divided/divided

1. Choose a band / artist: Clearly, Holly Palmer. I've been listening to her a lot lately in anticipation of her new album & she's even recommended some music to me over on myspace- Rickie Lee Jones, kids!

2. Are you male or female: Lickerish Man

3. Describe yourself: Divided

4. How do some people feel about you: Is Anybody Home?

5. How do you feel about yourself: Switched

6. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: Somebody Said What Now?

7. Describe where you want to be: Wide Open Spaces

8. Describe how you live: Safety Belt (although at the moment- Down So Low feels more appropriate)

9. Describe how you love: Down with Love

10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish: Something Else

11. Share a few words of Wisdom: A Rose By Any Other Name...

12. Where Do you Live? Smallroom

13. Now say goodbye: Falling Silent

wow. good thing i did this lame little quizlet as it made me discover that one of my absolute favorite Holly songs, "mannequins" somehow escaped my ipod! how does that happen?!?!?

listening to: Björk/Vespertine
bookbag: Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs
dvd player: Nothing yet, but something from the Cary Grant collection, probably. His Girl Friday?
title quote: "Divided" by Holly Palmer from Tenderhooks (go get it at CDBaby, Baby)
celebrity sightings: 1- Daniel V from PROJECT RUNWAY was in the store last week. (wow i haven't blogged in a while- and this doesn't even count so much as a blog, just a quizlet) Anyway, he was supercute and I helped direct him to some books. And said something lame like, "Good luck, I'm going for you!" ahhhhhh i'm a geek.
YTD Sightings-7
what i wish i would have said: actually i've just gone to wishing i'd keep my big fat mouth shut more often.

the victim was a woman/a woman in her prime/the suspect was a lover/he had no alibi/the weapon was a phone call in the dead of night

ah, the sad life of a singleton.

i called the Café Carlyle today to make reservations to see Ute Lemper on the 22nd and...
they don't make reservations for a party of one. you just show up and sit at the bar. (the ALONE is implied)
which is making me wonder if it'll be worth it- i'll have to watch the BLOOD & FEATHERS dvd and see if people at the bar can actually SEE Ute or not- considering the $65 cover. I know that I'm justifying this as it being my income tax refund gift to myself and the fact is that seeing Ute was one of the MAJOR benefits I knew was in store for me when I moved up here (She does a gig at the Carlyle every winter), but it seems really extravagant- especially if I'm stuck at the bar all night, uncomfortable and alone. grrr.


title quote: The Case Continues by Ute Lemper from PUNISHING KISS

i must confess there appears to be/way more darkness than light/i wanna fall like a bird/to the bottom of the sea/where no one will find us tonight

snow can be fun and pretty and well, dangerous looking.

oh and dangerous. last night i slipped and fell twice walking from work to the train station. although according to one new yorker this is because snow loves me and wants to get me closer.

this has been rick sayre reporting from post-blizzard 2006 brooklyn.

title quote: Icicles by Patty Griffin from IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

the snow is snowing, the wind is blowing/but i can weather the storm

Body:
Supposedly if you've seen over 70, you have no life. Number the ones you've seen. Put your score in header and repost.


(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) The Mexican
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane

Total: 8

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Young Frankenstien
(x) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Saw
( ) White Noise
(X) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
( ) Jason X

Total: 5

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(X) American Pie
(X) American Pie 2
-look, i was hoping for some naked Seann William Scott, okay??
( ) American Wedding
(x) Harry Potter

Total: 9

(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(X) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil
( ) Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Donnie Darko
(x) Lilo & Stitch

Total: 7

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
( ) 13 Ghosts
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) White Chicks!
(X) Butterfly Effect
(x) Thirteen Going on 30
( ) I, Robot

Total: 6

(X) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
(X) Deep Impact
-forced by dave's ex!!
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights

Total: 4

( ) Cinderella Story
(x)The Terminal
( ) the Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumb & Dumberer
(X) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
(x)Halloween
(x) The Ring

Total: 4

(X) The Ring 2
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To Whitecastle
(x) Practical magic
(x) Chicago
(X) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards

Total: 8

(X) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
(X) Bride of Chucky
(X) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
(X) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
( ) Coach Carter
( ) Bad Boys

Total: 6

( ) Bad Boys 2
(x) Joy Ride
(x) Se7en
(x ) Oceans eleven
(x ) Ocean's Twelve
(x ) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremacy
( ) Lone Star
(X) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II

Total: 7

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
(X) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' daughter.
(x) Frailty

Total: 4

( ) Best Bet
(X) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(X) She's All That
-this is the most embarrassing admission.
(X) Calendar girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China

Total: 7

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
(X) Reign of Fire
(X) Cruel Intentions
( ) The Hot Chick

Total: 7

(X) Swimfan
-only god can judge me!! Jesse Bradford + Speedo = worth it.
( ) Miracle
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Boogeyman

Total: 4

( ) Hitch
(x) The Fifth Element
-although at some point i tried to dig my eyes out of their sockets with a spoon.
(x)Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
( ) Star Wars Episode II Attack of The Clones
(x) Star Wars Episode III Revenge of The Sith
-i will not comment on this as there are those among us who liked it. three times.
(x) Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Episode VI Return of The Jedi...
(x) Troop Beverly Hills
-with Jenny Lewis of Rilo Kiley.
(x) Swimming with Sharks

Total: 8

( ) Air Force One
( ) For Richer or Poorer
(x) Trainspotting
(x) People Under the Stairs
(x) Blue Velvet
(x) Sound of Music
-i watched this every day i worked in January.
(x) Parent Trap 1 (old)
( ) Parent Trap 2 (new)
(x) The Burbs
(x) The Terminator

Total: 7

(x) Empire Records
( ) SLC Punk
( ) Meet Joe Black
(x) Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) The Silence of the Lambs
(x) Red Dragon
-what, no love for Hannibal? It had Julianne Moore dammit!!
(x) Sleepy Hollow
( ) I Heart Huckabees
(X) 24 Hour Party People
( ) Blood In Blood Out
(X) The Virgin Suicides

Total: 7

ALL TOTAL: 108

listening to: Sarah Vaughan's Finest Hour
bookbag: I finished IN COLD BLOOD tonight. Loved it- next up is either Capote's OTHER VOICES, OTHER ROOMS or BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S.
dvd player: 5x2 by François Ozon. Very good... j'adore Ozon! next- The Constant Gardener. maybe.
title quote:"I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm" as performed by... Ella & Louis
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-6
what i wish i would have said: "How the hell did you get up here?" -to the customer who asked me where the escalator was.

i'm just a soul who's intentions are good/dear lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

i love the new position at work. i miss my home. i like the people i work with. i miss my family.

i want to be selfish with my time and so everytime someone makes plans with me it feels like an obligation. but i don't want to make anyone feel bad by saying "no". i'm disconnecting but i feel guilty. i don't want to let anyone down, but i want to be alone. i want to go to work, alphabetize and shelve books, help customers, get back on the train, come home and hang out in my room. nothing else. i don't want to make plans with anybody. but i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings because i like them all. have been cancelling things with Lily & Gilliane, The Red Haired Goddess. have almost cancelled movie plans with Robert three times but deleted each e-mail. i will let everyone down i'm sure.

when did i go from feeling lonely & outcast to WANTING to be alone and apart? it's who i am now, though.

don't want to leave the house today.

i have a date in 4 hours. i am the most fucked up person on the planet.

i wish i was home.
-rick
listening to: Nina Simone
bookbag: In Cold Blood
dvd player: Junebug
title quote: Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, as performed by Nina Simone
celebrity sightings: 1- Busta Rhymes was in the Chess section the other day. IN MY WAY!! I was trying to alphabetize, Busta!!
YTD Sightings-6

Stupid babies need the most attention!

new haircut.
oreos.
oh yeah... and new spot in the store. that i am so loving!
plus- crushy mccrush crush getting crushier.

something bad is probably right around the corner.

listening to: Rickie Lee Jones- as recommended by the lovely & amazing Holly Palmer.
bookbag: In Cold Blood. LOVING it more than I ever expected. Picked up Other Rooms, Other Voices by Capote for my next book. All other unread books are in dresser and v. v. upset.
dvd player: The Simpsons: Season Seven
title quote: The Simpsons, "Home Sweet Home Diddly Dum Doodily"
celebrity sightings: 0. Although I thought I saw someone the other day. But now I forgot who it wasn't.
YTD Sightings-5

if love is blind, if love's a drug/it always is, it always was/then love was surely made for fools like me

Okay this is more interesting to me- these are the songs i've listened to most on my computer, which is more interestingb because i'm more apt to specifically choose a song on the computer as opposed to the ipod, where i usually just shuffle it up.

1: Joan Armatrading/The weakness in me (21 plays)
2: Blur/Song 2 (17)
3: Three Finger Cowboy (12)
4: Elvis Costello/Mystery dance (11)
5: Jason Mraz/Wordplay (11)
6: Get off me! -SPACED soundbyte (11)
7: Save Ferris/Come on Eileen (11)
8: The Specials/Pressure Drop (11)
9: Barenaked Ladies/One week (10)
10: Cathy Richardson Band/Saturday (10)
11: Reel Big Fish/Take on me (10)
12: Rock-a-Teens/Woo-Hoo (10)
13: Third Eye Blind/Semi-charmed life (10)
14. Mary Lou Lord/Some Jingle Jangle Morning (9)
15. Nerf Herder/Sorry (9)
16. Semisonic/F.N.T. (9)
17. Smashmouth/All star (9)
18. Snow Patrol/Somewhere a clock is ticking (9)
19. Spin Doctors/Jimmy Olsen's blues (9)
20. Sublime/Santeria (9)
21. Throwing Muses/Bright yellow gun (9)
22. SPACED dialogue- Finished (9)
23. White Stripes/Fell in love with a girl (9)
24. Brendan Benson/Alternative to love (8)
25. Less than Jake/I think I love you (8)
26. SPACED dialogue/Jaffa cakes (8)
27. Bettye LaVette/How am i different? (7)
28. Blur/There's no other way (7)
29. Feist/Inside and out (7)
30. Fountains of Wayne/Better things (7)
31. LOCK, STOCK & TWO SMOKING BARRELS dialogue- I've been shot! (7)
32. Snow Patrol/Tiny little fractures (7)
33. Third Eye Blind/New girl (7)
34. BIG DADDY dialogue- The kiss (6-i'm so fucking embarrassed. i haven't seen the movie. but i have the cd)
35. Athlete/Wires (6)
36. Blossom Dearie/Just one of those things (Brazilian Girls remix) (6)
37. Blur/Beetlebum (6)
38. Cat Stevens/If you want to sing out, sing out (6-from HAROLD AND MAUDE you fools! you better recognize)
39. Dick Haymes/Button up your overcoat (6)
40. LOCK, STOCK & TWO SMOKING BARRELS dialogue- "It's been emotional" (6)
41. SPACED dialogue- Daisy (6)
42. Joan Jett/Bad Reputation (6-known to some as the theme from Freaks & Geeks)
43. Snow Patrol/How to be dead (6)
44. Snow Patrol/Gleaming auction (6)
45. Snow Patrol/Run (6)
46. Snow Patrol/Same (6-i must have listened to that cd quite a lot on my computer. well, six times at least)
47. The Supremes/All I Want (6-they cover the Joni Mitchell song and it is fucking awesome)
48. Allen Broyles/Today (5)
49. Bettye LaVette/I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got (5)
50. Bettye/Down to Zero (5)
51. Bettye/Only time will tell me (5)
52. Bettye/Sleep to Dream (5)
53. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy/You & me & the bottle makes three tonight (baby) (5)
54. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy/Go Daddy-O (5)
55. Green Day/American Idiot (5)
56. LOCK STOCK & TWO SMOKING BARRELS dialogue- "hortifuckinculturist" (5)
57. Jason Mraz/Curbside Prophet '04 (5)
58. Joan Jett/I love rock n roll (5)
59. Natasha Bedingfield/These words (I love you I love you I love you) (5-and i feel no shame.)
60. Pixies/Where is my mind? (5)
61. "Sergei Gurlukovich"/Shuffle up and strings (5-a piece that Dave composed for one of his movies)
62. Shawn Colvin/This must be the place (Naive melody) (5-that's the cover of the Talking Heads song I named this blog after! it's all connected, kids)
63. Snow Patrol/Wow (5)
64. Snow Patrol/Whatever's left (5)
65. Snow Patrol/Grazed knees (5)
66. Soul Asylum/Bittersweetheart (5)
67. BROKEN HEARTS CLUB dialogue- "J. Crew guy" (5)
68. 311/Down (4- wow. wow.)
69. Aimee Mann/Little Bombs (itunes version) (4)
70. Bettye LaVette/Joy (4-a fucking awesome Lucinda Williams song)
71. Bettye/The High road (4)
72. Bettye/On the surface (4)
73. Bic Runga/When I see you smile (4)
74. Bic/Get some sleep (4)
75. Bic/Election night (4)
76. Bic/Suddenly strange (4)
77. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy/I wanna be like you (4)
78. Black 47/Different drummer (4)
79. Bloc Party/Like eating glass (4)
80. Blur/Coffee & TV (4)
81. Blur/Parklife (4)
82. Blur/Girls & boys (4)
83. Brendan Benson/Cold hands (warm heart) (4)
84. Cat Stevens/Don't be shy (4-again, HAROLD AND MAUDE is the shit. netflix it or DIE. no seriously. you will be dead to me if you don't see this movie)
85. Henhouse Five/In the mood (4-from the PECKER soundtrack. it's "in the mood" performed by the clucking of chickens)
86. Honeydogs/10,000 Years (4)
87. Leela James/Don't speak (4)
88. Loretta Lynn/She's got you (4)
89. Marga Gomez/The Serious People's Collective (4-comedy. love her)
90. Mark Knopfler/Whoop De Doo (4)
91. Nina Simone/I put a spell on you (4)
92. Pixies/Planet of sound (4)
93. Pixies/Head on (4- this song is so awesome! Fuck yeah!!!!)
94. Rufus Wainwright/The art teacher (Alright, Already version) (4- clearly before Rufus equaled bad memories and was shunned from being listened to)
95. Snow Patrol/Spitting games (4)
96. Snow Patrol/Chocolate (4)
97. Snow Patrol/Ways & Means (4)
98. TRICK dialogue- Como te gusta mi pinga? (4-oy.)
99. Susie Suh/Petrified to be God-like (4)
100. Temptations/The way you do the things you do (4)


ah. pointless. but now maybe i can sleep... and so can you, dear friends. oh wait- none of you got this far.
-rick
listening to: Lisa Loeb
bookbag: In Cold Blood
dvd player: Mary Tyler Moore Show: Season Three (only 3 episodes left. sigh.)
title quote: Lisa Loeb, "Fools Like Me" from The Way It Reallly Is
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-5
what i wish i would have said: "You fucking BITCH! Get out of my store!!"
...to the woman who was walking past me with a bemused look, then stopped to tell me what she thought was so funny- a remark she thought in reference to my favorite musicseller that was quite derogatory. the fact that she fucking told me pissed me off as much as the comment itself. of course what did i really say? "oh..."

something good will come our way/maybe this good thing's gonna happen today

amazing how something unexpected can change your plans.
when i got to work today, there was word that the big man wanted to talk to me. he offered me a lead position. i've been hoping for this since i got there, because it means 40 hours a week and a 75 cent raise. it may not help monumentally, but it can help. and i was talking with a girl i work with, vaguely telling her my situation- and she said maybe it was fate's way of telling me not to leave NY yet. i don't believe in fate, but it's definitely one of many things that have been pushing me to stay until July at least. Some of my friends, even my mom had suggested I do this, give it a year and then decide. And on top of that, there is The Crush. And for once, I'm talking about a crush who has a crush on me... I've spent the last week, since our pre-date, trying not to let myself get too involved... but it's just another thing that's happening to me right now, something possibly good that's on my plate-

it's scary, but i'm going to roll the dice and take these risks. New York is stuck with me for at least another six months.
-rick
listening to: Throwing Muses (2003)
bookbag: In Cold Blood
dvd player: Mary Tyler Moore: Season Three
title quote: Bic Runga, "Something Good" from Beautiful Collision
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-5

come on once again, cast off your sorrow/the long night will end, dance on the morning dew

So i was depressed, bored, fucking around with the ipod playlists & figured out how to make one of my top 100 played songs. it's really no surprise... but it's like, EVERY BIC RUNGA SONG!! so i thought i'd share because... well, i'm bored and the last post was very heavy, so here's a little bullshit.

1. Bic Runga/Winning Arrow (19- and the title quote)
2. Bic/Say after me (18)
3. Bic/Birds (18)
4. Bic/If I had you (18)
5. Blur/Song 2 (16)
6. Bic/A day like today (15)
7. Bic/Listen (15)
8. Bic/Ruby nights (15)
9. Bic/No crying no more (15)
10. Bic/It's over (14)
11. Joan Armatrading/The weakness in me (14- formerly the most played song on my ipod!)
12. Bic/Captured (13)
13. Bic/Blue blue heart (13)
14. Bic/That's alright (12)
15. Three Finger Cowboy/Everybody knows (12)
16. Bic/Election night (11)
17. Bic/Precious things (11)
18. Save Ferris/Come on Eileen (11)
19. The Specials/Pressure drop (11)
20. Barenaked Ladies/One week (10)
21. Bic/When I see you smile (10)
22. Bic/Sway (10)
23. Bic/Suddenly strange (10)
24. Cathy Richardson Band/Saturday (10)
25. Elvis Costello/Mystery dance (10)
26. Jason Mraz/Wordplay (10)
27. Reel Big Fish/Take on me (10)
28. The Rock-a-Teens/Woo-Hoo (10)
29. Third Eye Blind/Semi-Charmed Life (10)
30. Bic/Counting the days (9)
31. Bic/And no more shall we part (9)
32. Mary Lou Lord/Some jingle jangle morning (9)
33. Nerf Herder/Sorry (9)
34. Semisonic/F.N.T. (9- that's Fascinating Young Thing, kids)
35. Smashmouth/All star (9)
36. Snow Patrol/Somewhere a clock is ticking (9)
37. Spin Doctors/Jimmy Olsen's blues (9)
38. Throwing Muses/Bright yellow gun (9)
39. Bic/Listening for the weather (8)
40. Bic/Good morning baby (8)
41. Bic/Beautiful collision -live (8)
42. Bic/Drive (8)
43. Bic/Bursting through (8)
44. Bic/Delight (8)
45. Bic/Good morning baby -live (8)
46. Less Than Jake/I think I love you (8)
47. Sublime/Santeria (8)
48. White Stripes/Fell in love with a girl (8)
49. Aimee Mann/Dear John (7)
50. Bic/Something good (7)
51. Bic/She left on a Monday (7)
52. Bic/Beautiful collision (7)
53. Bic/Gracie (7)
54. Bic/Something good -live (7)
55. Bic/Question to ask me (7)
56. Bic/Bursting through (7)
57. Bic/Anyone who had a heart (7)
58. Bic/Wishing on a star (7)
59. Bic/Hey (7)
60. Bic/Drive -Cars version (7)
61. Blur/There's no other way (7)
62. Fiona Apple/Oh well (7)
63. Iris Dement/My life (7-and probably cried every time)
64. Miles Davis/Summertime (7)
65. Third Eye Blind/New girl (7)
66. Bic/All fall down (6)
67. Bic/Close the door, put out the lights (6)
68. Bic/Get some sleep (6)
69. Bic/Gravity (6-shocking, it's my favorite Bic song!)
70. Bic/She left on a Monday- live (6)
71. Bic/Something good -live w/symphony (6)
72. Bic/Swim (6)
73. Bic/Something good -live (6)
74. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy/You & me & the bottle makes three tonight (6)
75. Björk/Frosti (6)
76. Blur/Beetlebum (6)
77. Dick Haymes/Button up your overcoat (6)
78. Fountains of Wayne/Better things (6)
79. Rufus Wainwright/The art teacher (6)
80. Snow Patrol/How to be dead (6)
81. Travis/All I want to do is rock (6)
82. Travis/Sing (6-it's also my ringtone! booyah!!)
83. Aimee Mann/King of the jailhouse (5)
84. Aimee/She really wants you (5)
85. Aimee/I can't help you anymore (5)
86. Aimee/I was thinking I could clean up for Christmas (5)
87. The Beatles/Yesterday (5)
88. Bic/The be all & end all (5)
89. Bic/Listening for the weather -live (5)
90. Bic/One more cup of coffee (5)
91. Bic/Ne me quitte pas (5)
92. Bic/Roll into one (5)
93. Bic/Heal (5)
94. Bic/Without you (5)
95. Bic/Drive -doordarshan mix (5)
96. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy/I wanna be like you (5)
97. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy/Go daddy-o (5)
98. Bloc Party/Like eating glass (5)
99. Fiona Apple/Extraordinary machine (5)
100. Green Day/American idiot (5)

hmm. that was pointless.

you know what? you know what? you know what? ...shut the fuck up!

i think i start to feel better for a bit and think i can deal with everything, but it doesn't take long before i'm back to feeling down. maybe one thing this whole experience has taught me is that whole 'the grass isn't always greener...' lesson. i felt i was missing something in miami, came here and find that i'm missing what i already had. I'm not naive enough to think that anyone ever feels like their lives are perfect. living in Miami i felt that there were these giant holes in my life... some of them have been filled here, but none of them are as gigantic as the hole that's been growing since i moved- the feeling of loss i have about being away from my family. i would give anything if i could combine all the best parts of my life somehow, but it's just not possible. hell, if i could do that i might also be able to travel back in time and stop myself from doing stupid things like dropping out of school, getting myself into an unsurmountable amount of credit card debt and ever meeting Matt Levine or Edwin.
i don't want to care about any of it anymore. if it wasn't for the money thing (oh, money how you suck) i would pick up and leave right now. i find myself trying to disconnect already. and of course, i've met someone, who likes me, who i could totally like if it wasn't for the fact that i'm thinking "what's the point, when i'm leaving?" and i wish i could have left like yesterday. the decision's been made, why am i delaying this? it's been suggested that i at least give it until July... and I've considered that. but it's like, why become any more rooted when it's going to be hard enough to leave as it is?
It's the job... having to ask for the transfer back to Miami... I absolutely don't want to work at my old store. Not after the manager in charge of helping me get my transfer here sent me up without a job, i don't think i could stand to be near him. and working at the BN here has been the job i've enjoyed the most and having to go back to one of the ass backwards BNs in Miami is going to suck. a lot. but then, so will learning to drive and having to deal with a car. but that's one thing that i'm thinking will have to happen for me to live back home... because after living with x+j and all of the friends i have here, the thing i'll miss most is the subways- or at least the independence they give me. of course the transit system in miami sucks- the buses are fewer & farther between, which means a trip to work could take 2 hours- if the bus even shows up on schedule.
but the point is that despite it's imperfections, home is where i want to be.
besides, maybe i can convince them to move to Fort Myers or something.

-rick

listening to: 50 foot wave/Golden Ocean. because it's loud and aggressive.
bookbag: In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
dvd player: Mary Tyler Moore: Season Three
title quote: 50 Foot Wave, "Pneuma" from Golden Ocean
celebrity sightings: 0 (where, hiding away in my room? i think not.)
YTD Sightings-5